Whenever I think about love, I take the romantic aspect of it. I've always thought that in order to love someone it has to be genuine and therefore I put all my time, energy and emotions into loving that person. My love for family comes naturally and I never expect anything in return for that love. On the other hand, I expect my love for a significant other to be mutual. I've never thought about love on an objective standpoint until I read Fromm's "The Art of Loving". After delving into further his idea of loving objectively, I began to re-evaluate what love meant to me. When I think about my past interactions with people I've come across, I acknowledged and understood that love can be more than just a feeling.
I used to work in a coffee shop a few years ago. The coffee shop was known for having a high volume of customers that come in and out the door. Despite the hectic atmosphere, I was determined to at least make some sort of small talk with each customer. I wanted them to feel welcomed and find that they can have a common interest on one thing or another. It didn't matter if we both thought it was a nice day, that we both enjoyed the same coffee. What mattered is that we would have something to talk about. I didn't want a customer to come in go through the routine of paying for a coffee, getting the coffee and leaving. I wanted them to know that someone was interested in how they were feeling or how their day was going. Personally I enjoy making small talk with strangers because it gives me a small window to look through and discover who they are. I never expected anything out of small talk, but what I was getting, I soon realized, was a chance to get to know that person. And I loved that.
We would have regulars that would come in and I found that I began to develop a relationship with them. The more these regulars came in, the more I found that they felt comfortable with telling me about their families, their jobs, and their vacation plans. In essence, I began to develop a love for getting to know these people. The same applies for those whom I worked with. We were all strangers to begin with but because we would have to see each other nearly every day and work together to make the business run smoothly, all of us began to form a close relationship. Some of us had common interests and shared the same viewpoints. Gradually, I began to see my co-workers more as loved family members. There were several times when most of us would get together outside of work to enjoy the others' company.
Unfortunately, one of our co-workers had unexpectedly passed away. Everyone was distraught over it and several of us showed up to attend his funeral. Even some regular customers, with whom that co-worker had developed a strong bond with had attended his funeral. In essence, we had all grown to love that person and when we had lost him it was like losing a family member. To support his family each of us pitched in money to cover funeral costs. To this day I still think about that co-worker and the impact he made on my live. I'm sure that he effected the lives of those who had the pleasure of meeting him as well.
I never thought to gain any love from the people who I had come across in the coffee shop. But I had developed a family like relationship with those I worked with and I'm sure that they loved me back. I feel that I had a genuine relationship with the customers who I served because we found a common interest with one another and were able to build an understanding with one another.
Now I file medical records in a hospital by myself and admittedly it gets lonely at times. I'm a very social person and if I don't have enough social interaction in a work place I get bored easily. I've come to appreciate the fact that my interactions with people developed me as the person I am today. I've come to value the love that I have developed for my co-workers and the customers that I've met. I use that love as a mode for living because it helped me appreciate interactions and thus I'm hungry for more.
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