Sunday, January 8, 2012
Sometimes
I wish I can go somewhere were no one can find me. I feel so caged in and limited in what I can do that I don't even feel like my own person. It's frustrating to have someone so dependent on you to the point where they are your constant shadow. Nor do they respect the personal space and time you need. I feel like there is no such place where I can be alone and I'm slowly going crazy because of that fact. Sometimes I feel like punching the wall or punching someone's face. I don't know I get so angry but this one particular person just pushes my buttons like no other. I have never felt so much anger and annoyance in one emotion that it's almost dizzying. I try to control my anger and give this person several chances but HE DOESN'T SEEM TO GET IT IN HIS THICK SKULL! No matter the topic if I tell him I don't want to talk about it or it bothers me he DOESN'T NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HOW I FEEL. ONLY HIS GODDAMN SELF!
Monday, November 22, 2010
My Subconcious Act
Everyone has an outlet to release their stress or anxiety. I discovered that my outlet always relates to a serene and calming location. Most would assume that I retreat to my bedroom in order release my stress. In fact, it may seem like the most logical place to go to. It's a confined space, and it's my own space. But whenever I get anxious, the last place I want to be is in a confined space. I feel claustrophobic and jittery. So I always leave my house to find a quiet spot to just be alone. In doing so, I've come across several "hidden treasures" where I could just breathe in the fresh air and let my thoughts take over. These spots are usually isolated state parks or trails far off the beaten path. I've come to find that being on the move all the time, driving around just to discover these parks or trails calms me. When I get to the destination, I forget all my troubles and just marvel in all the beauty around me. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than sitting alone on top of a hill and staring into the vast greatness of an undisturbed valley. There is nothing more soothing than to just sit on the shore of a lake and listen to nature as it goes about its business around me. Even if I have nothing to be stressed about (and I have nothing better to do) I always have the urge to just drive and find an location isolated from the hustle and bustle of the city. I never really understood why, and even if I have my theories I probably will never understand why it's so important for me to be alone in scenic areas.
One theory I have is because I've been exposed to moving constantly. My father used to be in the Navy and as a result my family never stayed in one location for too long. While my father was still active, the most we lived in one place would be four years. It was hectic, it was stressful and at times it was frustrating. We never knew where we would move next until a month or so before my father would get his orders. Because my mother wanted us to stay together as a family, my siblings and I didn't have a choice as to whether or not we wanted to move. So it was always hard to say good-bye to the friends we made. It was nerve-wracking to try and make new friends where ever we moved to. One day, when it was decided that we were to move again, I decided that I wanted to be alone and take a walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the area while I still could. I was anxious about the move because I had grown fond of the place where we had been living at and I didn't want to move anymore. I was tired of it.
So I took a walk to calm my nerves, and came across a path that was partially covered by the overgrown foliage surrounding it. Curious, I decided to walk along the path. I realized that I should have been afraid. I didn't know where this path would lead me nor did I know if it was safe. But I wasn't afraid and allowed the sounds of nature (the buzzing of the insects and the chirping of the birds) overtake me. I followed the path up to a clearing that was surrounded by the forest. It was beautiful and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness wash over me. It was probably the happiest I had ever felt. In that moment, I realized how much I appreciated the raw, natural beauty of mother nature. I didn't and could never think of anything more beautiful to rival that of nature.
Which leads me to my next theory on why I have to seek places closely tied to mother nature in order to find peace. The naturalness and calmness of nature stirs something within me. I think it's because it's so bare and undisturbed or undiscovered which appeals to me. Knowing that there is a small piece of nature left that hasn't been paved over by asphalt, weighed down upon by buildings or deafened by city noise sparks hope in me. Hope, that while physically I am exposed to the everyday bustle of city living, that within myself there is a serenity tied closely with raw nature. A sense if isolation that doesn't depict loneliness but beauty.
Even as I write this, it's hard to describe the feelings I get whenever I sit by myself in an isolated park or trail. It's definitely something I believe everyone should try at least once.
One theory I have is because I've been exposed to moving constantly. My father used to be in the Navy and as a result my family never stayed in one location for too long. While my father was still active, the most we lived in one place would be four years. It was hectic, it was stressful and at times it was frustrating. We never knew where we would move next until a month or so before my father would get his orders. Because my mother wanted us to stay together as a family, my siblings and I didn't have a choice as to whether or not we wanted to move. So it was always hard to say good-bye to the friends we made. It was nerve-wracking to try and make new friends where ever we moved to. One day, when it was decided that we were to move again, I decided that I wanted to be alone and take a walk around the neighborhood and enjoy the area while I still could. I was anxious about the move because I had grown fond of the place where we had been living at and I didn't want to move anymore. I was tired of it.
So I took a walk to calm my nerves, and came across a path that was partially covered by the overgrown foliage surrounding it. Curious, I decided to walk along the path. I realized that I should have been afraid. I didn't know where this path would lead me nor did I know if it was safe. But I wasn't afraid and allowed the sounds of nature (the buzzing of the insects and the chirping of the birds) overtake me. I followed the path up to a clearing that was surrounded by the forest. It was beautiful and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and happiness wash over me. It was probably the happiest I had ever felt. In that moment, I realized how much I appreciated the raw, natural beauty of mother nature. I didn't and could never think of anything more beautiful to rival that of nature.
Which leads me to my next theory on why I have to seek places closely tied to mother nature in order to find peace. The naturalness and calmness of nature stirs something within me. I think it's because it's so bare and undisturbed or undiscovered which appeals to me. Knowing that there is a small piece of nature left that hasn't been paved over by asphalt, weighed down upon by buildings or deafened by city noise sparks hope in me. Hope, that while physically I am exposed to the everyday bustle of city living, that within myself there is a serenity tied closely with raw nature. A sense if isolation that doesn't depict loneliness but beauty.
Even as I write this, it's hard to describe the feelings I get whenever I sit by myself in an isolated park or trail. It's definitely something I believe everyone should try at least once.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
What are the Benefits of Staying?
5. Why don't you "escape" when you have a job or life circumstance you don't like? (Make sure you answer this question in terms of one’s public or professional sphere.) What, besides the simple need to earn a living, causes someone to stay in less than favorable circumstances? What might be the connection to our character or professional ethics (i.e. is there a way to have a stronger sense of self, in order to ensure that we are either satisfied or not negative about the conditions of our work environment)?
Over the past few years I have worked for a variety of employers. I've been in food service, retail, and filed medical records. Each job had its perks and its downsides. Other than the basic need to earn a living, I found there were legitimate reasons why I kept a job even if I didn't like it. The jobs I used to have were very secure. They were either big corporations or large franchises and therefore didn't have the risk of going out of business. However, I would play with the idea of "what if". What if I had worked for an independent or privately owned company or restaurant? There usually isn't a guarantee that privately owned businesses will always do well. The idea of being fired or working for a privately owned business that eventually goes out of business was what usually troubled me. The unknown is what kept me from venturing from applying to the jobs I knew were secure. While owners may embellish their privately owned businesses with appealing promises, I knew better than to trust carefully chosen words to draw in the naive. I needed proof that the job I applied for would keep me employed for years on end. As far as work goes, I like to think of myself as a practical person and therefore I need to put myself in practical situations. While I believe that everyone develops a strong sense of self in order to ensure that they are satisfied with our work conditions, I think that it takes time to do so. I think that satisfaction also stems from acclimation. I feel that in order to get a strong sense of self in the workplace, one must understand how to handle and cope with job situations that they have learned to get used to.
From a personal viewpoint, I find it harder to escape from an unfavorable circumstance than to escape from a job I didn't like. To reiterate, I always applied to jobs that I knew would be secure and thus I didn't worry about finding a job that couldn't support my lifestyle. Relationships were a different story. I had been in relationships that were great at the best of times and bad at the worst of times. The last relationship I was in lasted a few years with a man who I assumed was "the one". The relationships I had previously been in couldn't compare. When the relationship started to go sour I tried to ignore it at first. Thinking about it now, I realized a big part of the reason why I wanted to stay in the relationship was because I was afraid of being alone. I knew that the longer I stayed in the relationship and made excuses for it made me diminish my sense of self. I came to the realization the more I made excuses for my ex the further I was taken away from myself. I would bend and mold my personality into something that I wouldn't recognize only for the sake of keeping the relationship alive as it had once been. I also knew that I stayed in the relationship because I wasn't sure what would happen to the both of us. Since the relationship had lasted for a few years, we had learned to be dependent on each other. We had grown to accustomed to the other that it was hard to imagine creating the same relationship we had developed with another person. Ultimately, I did end the relationship and I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about the "what if's". What if I had just tried a little harder to make the relationship work? What if I had just been the person he wanted me to be? In the end, I knew I made the right choice to end the relationship because I needed to understand that my sense of self and happiness is incredibly important.
In essence, I believe it is the fear of the unknown that keeps most of us from leaving a situation that we don't like. Through experience, I've come to interpret our society as something that needs security. While one of the main reasons is based on the benefits towards making a living, it's comforting to know that security is known to be tangible enough that there is no need to be fearful. I find it more tolerable to endure the downside of a job than worry about what will happen to me if I had just left the situation. I found the more I would fight through the tougher aspects of the job, I would develop a tolerance for it. I also believe that while the downside of the job may exist, the perks are stronger. If there wasn't anything appealing about the job, there wouldn't be a reason to apply for it. I think that a job is more tolerable as long as the benefits of the job are focused upon.
Over the past few years I have worked for a variety of employers. I've been in food service, retail, and filed medical records. Each job had its perks and its downsides. Other than the basic need to earn a living, I found there were legitimate reasons why I kept a job even if I didn't like it. The jobs I used to have were very secure. They were either big corporations or large franchises and therefore didn't have the risk of going out of business. However, I would play with the idea of "what if". What if I had worked for an independent or privately owned company or restaurant? There usually isn't a guarantee that privately owned businesses will always do well. The idea of being fired or working for a privately owned business that eventually goes out of business was what usually troubled me. The unknown is what kept me from venturing from applying to the jobs I knew were secure. While owners may embellish their privately owned businesses with appealing promises, I knew better than to trust carefully chosen words to draw in the naive. I needed proof that the job I applied for would keep me employed for years on end. As far as work goes, I like to think of myself as a practical person and therefore I need to put myself in practical situations. While I believe that everyone develops a strong sense of self in order to ensure that they are satisfied with our work conditions, I think that it takes time to do so. I think that satisfaction also stems from acclimation. I feel that in order to get a strong sense of self in the workplace, one must understand how to handle and cope with job situations that they have learned to get used to.
From a personal viewpoint, I find it harder to escape from an unfavorable circumstance than to escape from a job I didn't like. To reiterate, I always applied to jobs that I knew would be secure and thus I didn't worry about finding a job that couldn't support my lifestyle. Relationships were a different story. I had been in relationships that were great at the best of times and bad at the worst of times. The last relationship I was in lasted a few years with a man who I assumed was "the one". The relationships I had previously been in couldn't compare. When the relationship started to go sour I tried to ignore it at first. Thinking about it now, I realized a big part of the reason why I wanted to stay in the relationship was because I was afraid of being alone. I knew that the longer I stayed in the relationship and made excuses for it made me diminish my sense of self. I came to the realization the more I made excuses for my ex the further I was taken away from myself. I would bend and mold my personality into something that I wouldn't recognize only for the sake of keeping the relationship alive as it had once been. I also knew that I stayed in the relationship because I wasn't sure what would happen to the both of us. Since the relationship had lasted for a few years, we had learned to be dependent on each other. We had grown to accustomed to the other that it was hard to imagine creating the same relationship we had developed with another person. Ultimately, I did end the relationship and I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about the "what if's". What if I had just tried a little harder to make the relationship work? What if I had just been the person he wanted me to be? In the end, I knew I made the right choice to end the relationship because I needed to understand that my sense of self and happiness is incredibly important.
In essence, I believe it is the fear of the unknown that keeps most of us from leaving a situation that we don't like. Through experience, I've come to interpret our society as something that needs security. While one of the main reasons is based on the benefits towards making a living, it's comforting to know that security is known to be tangible enough that there is no need to be fearful. I find it more tolerable to endure the downside of a job than worry about what will happen to me if I had just left the situation. I found the more I would fight through the tougher aspects of the job, I would develop a tolerance for it. I also believe that while the downside of the job may exist, the perks are stronger. If there wasn't anything appealing about the job, there wouldn't be a reason to apply for it. I think that a job is more tolerable as long as the benefits of the job are focused upon.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thinking about love objectively
Whenever I think about love, I take the romantic aspect of it. I've always thought that in order to love someone it has to be genuine and therefore I put all my time, energy and emotions into loving that person. My love for family comes naturally and I never expect anything in return for that love. On the other hand, I expect my love for a significant other to be mutual. I've never thought about love on an objective standpoint until I read Fromm's "The Art of Loving". After delving into further his idea of loving objectively, I began to re-evaluate what love meant to me. When I think about my past interactions with people I've come across, I acknowledged and understood that love can be more than just a feeling.
I used to work in a coffee shop a few years ago. The coffee shop was known for having a high volume of customers that come in and out the door. Despite the hectic atmosphere, I was determined to at least make some sort of small talk with each customer. I wanted them to feel welcomed and find that they can have a common interest on one thing or another. It didn't matter if we both thought it was a nice day, that we both enjoyed the same coffee. What mattered is that we would have something to talk about. I didn't want a customer to come in go through the routine of paying for a coffee, getting the coffee and leaving. I wanted them to know that someone was interested in how they were feeling or how their day was going. Personally I enjoy making small talk with strangers because it gives me a small window to look through and discover who they are. I never expected anything out of small talk, but what I was getting, I soon realized, was a chance to get to know that person. And I loved that.
We would have regulars that would come in and I found that I began to develop a relationship with them. The more these regulars came in, the more I found that they felt comfortable with telling me about their families, their jobs, and their vacation plans. In essence, I began to develop a love for getting to know these people. The same applies for those whom I worked with. We were all strangers to begin with but because we would have to see each other nearly every day and work together to make the business run smoothly, all of us began to form a close relationship. Some of us had common interests and shared the same viewpoints. Gradually, I began to see my co-workers more as loved family members. There were several times when most of us would get together outside of work to enjoy the others' company.
Unfortunately, one of our co-workers had unexpectedly passed away. Everyone was distraught over it and several of us showed up to attend his funeral. Even some regular customers, with whom that co-worker had developed a strong bond with had attended his funeral. In essence, we had all grown to love that person and when we had lost him it was like losing a family member. To support his family each of us pitched in money to cover funeral costs. To this day I still think about that co-worker and the impact he made on my live. I'm sure that he effected the lives of those who had the pleasure of meeting him as well.
I never thought to gain any love from the people who I had come across in the coffee shop. But I had developed a family like relationship with those I worked with and I'm sure that they loved me back. I feel that I had a genuine relationship with the customers who I served because we found a common interest with one another and were able to build an understanding with one another.
Now I file medical records in a hospital by myself and admittedly it gets lonely at times. I'm a very social person and if I don't have enough social interaction in a work place I get bored easily. I've come to appreciate the fact that my interactions with people developed me as the person I am today. I've come to value the love that I have developed for my co-workers and the customers that I've met. I use that love as a mode for living because it helped me appreciate interactions and thus I'm hungry for more.
I used to work in a coffee shop a few years ago. The coffee shop was known for having a high volume of customers that come in and out the door. Despite the hectic atmosphere, I was determined to at least make some sort of small talk with each customer. I wanted them to feel welcomed and find that they can have a common interest on one thing or another. It didn't matter if we both thought it was a nice day, that we both enjoyed the same coffee. What mattered is that we would have something to talk about. I didn't want a customer to come in go through the routine of paying for a coffee, getting the coffee and leaving. I wanted them to know that someone was interested in how they were feeling or how their day was going. Personally I enjoy making small talk with strangers because it gives me a small window to look through and discover who they are. I never expected anything out of small talk, but what I was getting, I soon realized, was a chance to get to know that person. And I loved that.
We would have regulars that would come in and I found that I began to develop a relationship with them. The more these regulars came in, the more I found that they felt comfortable with telling me about their families, their jobs, and their vacation plans. In essence, I began to develop a love for getting to know these people. The same applies for those whom I worked with. We were all strangers to begin with but because we would have to see each other nearly every day and work together to make the business run smoothly, all of us began to form a close relationship. Some of us had common interests and shared the same viewpoints. Gradually, I began to see my co-workers more as loved family members. There were several times when most of us would get together outside of work to enjoy the others' company.
Unfortunately, one of our co-workers had unexpectedly passed away. Everyone was distraught over it and several of us showed up to attend his funeral. Even some regular customers, with whom that co-worker had developed a strong bond with had attended his funeral. In essence, we had all grown to love that person and when we had lost him it was like losing a family member. To support his family each of us pitched in money to cover funeral costs. To this day I still think about that co-worker and the impact he made on my live. I'm sure that he effected the lives of those who had the pleasure of meeting him as well.
I never thought to gain any love from the people who I had come across in the coffee shop. But I had developed a family like relationship with those I worked with and I'm sure that they loved me back. I feel that I had a genuine relationship with the customers who I served because we found a common interest with one another and were able to build an understanding with one another.
Now I file medical records in a hospital by myself and admittedly it gets lonely at times. I'm a very social person and if I don't have enough social interaction in a work place I get bored easily. I've come to appreciate the fact that my interactions with people developed me as the person I am today. I've come to value the love that I have developed for my co-workers and the customers that I've met. I use that love as a mode for living because it helped me appreciate interactions and thus I'm hungry for more.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Song that Inspires Me
Truth be told, I found some difficulty writing this blog. I have so many songs that I've liked over the years that it was hard for me to narrow my choices down to one. When I say I like songs or have favorites, I mean that particular song has good lyrics and beats. I've heard songs that have evoked strong emotions from me. I enjoy songs that make me want to analyze the lyrics and try to find a deeper meaning to them. I haven't come across a song that related so closely to my life until recently. "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" by Oasis is that particular song that I will always listen to whenever I need a reminder of where I've come from and where I am now. Though it isn't as lyrical as a lot of their other songs, in my opinion "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" is their most beautiful song.
There may be several ways to interpret this song but from a personal standpoint I interpreted what this song may mean by relating it to my experiences. I find that this song conveys the message of after having faced a dark point in life, the best thing to do next is to try and overcome it. I've managed to break free from a rocky relationship that I knew would not be able to last as I hoped it would. I found the only reason I held onto that relationship was because I was scared of being alone and I feared that I wouldn't have the strength to move on if I did leave the relationship. No matter how many times I was emotionally hurt by my ex, I took that abuse and kept it within not knowing that I was allowing my self-esteem to slowly rot. For a year I played with and fought against the idea of leaving but in the end I had to do what was best for myself. I remember when I had first heard Oasis' song on the radio as if it was yesterday. I had just packed all my stuff into my car (after having made the painful decision of leaving the relationship) and turned on my radio to ease my anxiety. I was obviously distraught but after this song had played and I had listened to it carefully, it raised my hopes. Never before had song created so much inspiration and hope within me that encouraged me to be someone I thought I never could be.
I interpret the opening lyrics as a source of reassurance. Whatever has happened, whether it be good or bad, the situation had passed and nothing can be done about it. I live by that rule now, I have to accept whatever has come to pass and try to move on from it without letting it effect me. What more can I do if I come across a situation that I can't help? It doesn't fix the matter if I dwell on the past so the next best thing is for me to try and continue on with my routine and ultimately my life. I find the chorus of the song very powerful. It has such a deep meaning for me that I usually think of this particular chorus whenever I find myself in a rut. I interpret the chorus has having been given a second chance and running with it. I think the stars are used as a metaphor because the only time stars fade are when dawn breaks. I find that the chorus is trying to convey the message that each day is a new one and thus the past must be forgotten each time each day fades into a new one. I find that the chorus is trying to be encouraging by promoting inner strength and being selfish for your own needs. I personally found that I have a hard time being selfish but as a consequence, I get taken advantage of. Thanks to this song, I've allowed myself to be a stronger person and think of myself more than what I have to do into order to please others. This song alone has changed my life in many ways that I never thought needed changing.
(The links don't seem to be working for me so I can only provide a link to the video, sorry!)
I like Leona Lewis' cover because she has incredible strength behind her vocals and she sings with such passion that it makes the song more emotional for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V1rzqdYCWw
Hold up, hold on, don’t be scared
You’ll never change what’s been and gone
May your smile, shine on'
Don’t be scared, your destiny may keep you warm
Chorus
Cause all of the stars are fadin away
Just try not to worry, you’ll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop cryin your heart out
Get up (get up) come on (come on)
why you scared (i'm not scared)
You’ll never change what been and gone
Chorus
Cause all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you’ll see them someday
Take what you need, and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Chorus Choir
Well all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you’ll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop, stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
There may be several ways to interpret this song but from a personal standpoint I interpreted what this song may mean by relating it to my experiences. I find that this song conveys the message of after having faced a dark point in life, the best thing to do next is to try and overcome it. I've managed to break free from a rocky relationship that I knew would not be able to last as I hoped it would. I found the only reason I held onto that relationship was because I was scared of being alone and I feared that I wouldn't have the strength to move on if I did leave the relationship. No matter how many times I was emotionally hurt by my ex, I took that abuse and kept it within not knowing that I was allowing my self-esteem to slowly rot. For a year I played with and fought against the idea of leaving but in the end I had to do what was best for myself. I remember when I had first heard Oasis' song on the radio as if it was yesterday. I had just packed all my stuff into my car (after having made the painful decision of leaving the relationship) and turned on my radio to ease my anxiety. I was obviously distraught but after this song had played and I had listened to it carefully, it raised my hopes. Never before had song created so much inspiration and hope within me that encouraged me to be someone I thought I never could be.
I interpret the opening lyrics as a source of reassurance. Whatever has happened, whether it be good or bad, the situation had passed and nothing can be done about it. I live by that rule now, I have to accept whatever has come to pass and try to move on from it without letting it effect me. What more can I do if I come across a situation that I can't help? It doesn't fix the matter if I dwell on the past so the next best thing is for me to try and continue on with my routine and ultimately my life. I find the chorus of the song very powerful. It has such a deep meaning for me that I usually think of this particular chorus whenever I find myself in a rut. I interpret the chorus has having been given a second chance and running with it. I think the stars are used as a metaphor because the only time stars fade are when dawn breaks. I find that the chorus is trying to convey the message that each day is a new one and thus the past must be forgotten each time each day fades into a new one. I find that the chorus is trying to be encouraging by promoting inner strength and being selfish for your own needs. I personally found that I have a hard time being selfish but as a consequence, I get taken advantage of. Thanks to this song, I've allowed myself to be a stronger person and think of myself more than what I have to do into order to please others. This song alone has changed my life in many ways that I never thought needed changing.
(The links don't seem to be working for me so I can only provide a link to the video, sorry!)
I like Leona Lewis' cover because she has incredible strength behind her vocals and she sings with such passion that it makes the song more emotional for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V1rzqdYCWw
Hold up, hold on, don’t be scared
You’ll never change what’s been and gone
May your smile, shine on'
Don’t be scared, your destiny may keep you warm
Chorus
Cause all of the stars are fadin away
Just try not to worry, you’ll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop cryin your heart out
Get up (get up) come on (come on)
why you scared (i'm not scared)
You’ll never change what been and gone
Chorus
Cause all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you’ll see them someday
Take what you need, and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Chorus Choir
Well all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you’ll see them someday
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop, stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Sunday, September 26, 2010
The Power of Music
Out of all the songs on the album, I found that I enjoyed DJ Shadow's: Building Steam with a Grain of Salt. I personally felt that it evoked a strong emotional response from me. I don't listen to instrumental music often, but this piece spoke to me despite the lack of lyrics. I listened to the music with my eyes closed so that I could have a better understanding of what the song was trying to portray. I think that instrumental music doesn't have a targeted goal for an emotion, but rather allows the listener to form their own interpretations. In other words, unlike songs with lyrics, instrumental music doesn't dictate or try to prove what is being said but rather connects the listener with an emotion.
Though the song seems to run on repetition with the same beat and instruments, I found that the imagery that was conjured up was continuous. Listening to the word segments, I thought that the song had a spiritual aspect to it. I like how the word segments integrate with the music to create this image of tenacity, inner-strength, and hope. I imagine that someone would be walking along the street replaying the flaws of their life in their mind and learning to overcome that to be a better person. The beat, lyrics and instruments create a powerful and inspiring thought process. There are very few songs that are able to evoke strong emotions without the aid of lyrics. What DJ Shadow's done is he allows the listener to peek through the window of an idea and let them discovers for themselves what is within.
Though the song seems to run on repetition with the same beat and instruments, I found that the imagery that was conjured up was continuous. Listening to the word segments, I thought that the song had a spiritual aspect to it. I like how the word segments integrate with the music to create this image of tenacity, inner-strength, and hope. I imagine that someone would be walking along the street replaying the flaws of their life in their mind and learning to overcome that to be a better person. The beat, lyrics and instruments create a powerful and inspiring thought process. There are very few songs that are able to evoke strong emotions without the aid of lyrics. What DJ Shadow's done is he allows the listener to peek through the window of an idea and let them discovers for themselves what is within.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Path of Enlightenment
After watching Phil Connors' ordeal of living each day in repetition, it became apparent how a once narcissistic man turned more "giving". I enjoyed the movie because it implied that with time human nature can be changed given certain circumstances. If one were to gain the experience of living a life over and over again, sure enough one would want to do things differently than from before. In Phil Connors' case, reliving one day over again allowed him to take risks without any consequences. I liked how the movie transitioned from him living each repeated day without any care to him living each day with a purpose. I believe that he became enlightened once he realized that although he would create certain scenarios to get what he wanted (in the beginning it was to sleep with Rita) he would never reach his desired result. Eventually he became tired of having to repeat each day and therefore refused to deal with it by trying to kill himself.
In my personal experience, I've gone through struggles of stepping on the path toward enlightenment. Like Phil, I used to be the type of person who would take things for granted. I wouldn't say that I'm narcissistic, but I do focus on myself a lot and my personal goals instead of the bigger picture. Phil's transition resonates with me because he stopped thinking about his own needs and began to care for others by noticing their needs. In essence, he began to place others before himself. That is what I believe turned him from being self-centered to becoming a humanist. I thought that Rita's character had a huge impact on him because she is the polar opposite of what he was. I believe that because Rita is so positive, her character began to influence Phil's outlook on life. When he starts acting as a good samaritan, it's as if he begins to emotionally grow.
This is the same case for many movies that deal with a character who once was selfish that turns good over time. I believe Phil's enlightenment came in the form of him turning "good". It was a step by step process in the movie, and I believe that it correlates to how one becomes enlightened in real life. I've had to cross over many barriers and fight against my limitations, but once I did I was able to mature as a person. I found that there is so much more to life than just living it. I have limitless options on how to further improve myself and make each day more meaningful. I think that Phil became a good samaritan because the good things he did for others had more meaning to him than what he could do for himself. He learned this because he had time to figure it out. In essence, enlightenment is a learning process that can only be achieved with an open mind, experience, and time.
In my personal experience, I've gone through struggles of stepping on the path toward enlightenment. Like Phil, I used to be the type of person who would take things for granted. I wouldn't say that I'm narcissistic, but I do focus on myself a lot and my personal goals instead of the bigger picture. Phil's transition resonates with me because he stopped thinking about his own needs and began to care for others by noticing their needs. In essence, he began to place others before himself. That is what I believe turned him from being self-centered to becoming a humanist. I thought that Rita's character had a huge impact on him because she is the polar opposite of what he was. I believe that because Rita is so positive, her character began to influence Phil's outlook on life. When he starts acting as a good samaritan, it's as if he begins to emotionally grow.
This is the same case for many movies that deal with a character who once was selfish that turns good over time. I believe Phil's enlightenment came in the form of him turning "good". It was a step by step process in the movie, and I believe that it correlates to how one becomes enlightened in real life. I've had to cross over many barriers and fight against my limitations, but once I did I was able to mature as a person. I found that there is so much more to life than just living it. I have limitless options on how to further improve myself and make each day more meaningful. I think that Phil became a good samaritan because the good things he did for others had more meaning to him than what he could do for himself. He learned this because he had time to figure it out. In essence, enlightenment is a learning process that can only be achieved with an open mind, experience, and time.
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