What are the Benefits of Staying?

5.  Why don't you "escape" when you have a job or life circumstance you don't like?  (Make sure you answer this question in terms of one’s public or professional sphere.)  What, besides the simple need to earn a living, causes someone to stay in less than favorable circumstances?  What might be the connection to our character or professional ethics (i.e. is there a way to have a stronger sense of self, in order to ensure that we are either satisfied or not negative about the conditions of our work environment)?

Over the past few years I have worked for a variety of employers. I've been in food service, retail, and filed medical records. Each job had its perks and its downsides. Other than the basic need to earn a living, I found there were legitimate reasons why I kept a job even if I didn't like it. The jobs I used to have were very secure. They were either big corporations or large franchises and therefore didn't have the risk of going out of business. However, I would play with the idea of "what if". What if I had worked for an independent or privately owned company or restaurant? There usually isn't a guarantee that privately owned businesses will always do well. The idea of being fired or working for a privately owned business that eventually goes out of business was what usually troubled me. The unknown is what kept me from venturing from applying to the jobs I knew were secure. While owners may embellish their privately owned businesses with appealing promises, I knew better than to trust carefully chosen words to draw in the naive. I needed proof that the job I applied for would keep me employed for years on end. As far as work goes, I like to think of myself as a practical person and therefore I need to put myself in practical situations. While I believe that everyone develops a strong sense of self in order to ensure that they are satisfied with our work conditions, I think that it takes time to do so. I think that satisfaction also stems from acclimation. I feel that in order to get a strong sense of self in the workplace, one must understand how to handle and cope with job situations that they have learned to get used to.

From a personal viewpoint, I find it harder to escape from an unfavorable circumstance than to escape from a job I didn't like. To reiterate, I always applied to jobs that I knew would be secure and thus I didn't worry about finding a job that couldn't support my lifestyle. Relationships were a different story. I had been in relationships that were great at the best of times and bad at the worst of times. The last relationship I was in lasted a few years with a man who I assumed was "the one". The relationships I had previously been in couldn't compare. When the relationship started to go sour I tried to ignore it at first. Thinking about it now, I realized a big part of the reason why I wanted to stay in the relationship was because I was afraid of being alone. I knew that the longer I stayed in the relationship and made excuses for it made me diminish my sense of self. I came to the realization the more I made excuses for my ex the further I was taken away from myself. I would bend and mold my personality into something that I wouldn't recognize only for the sake of keeping the relationship alive as it had once been. I also knew that I stayed in the relationship because I wasn't sure what would happen to the both of us. Since the relationship had lasted for a few years, we had learned to be dependent on each other. We had grown to accustomed to the other that it was hard to imagine creating the same relationship we had developed with another person. Ultimately, I did end the relationship and I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about the "what if's". What if I had just tried a little harder to make the relationship work? What if I had just been the person he wanted me to be? In the end, I knew I made the right choice to end the relationship because I needed to understand that my sense of self and happiness is incredibly important.

In essence, I believe it is the fear of the unknown that keeps most of us from leaving a situation that we don't like. Through experience, I've come to interpret our society as something that needs security. While one of the main reasons is based on the benefits towards making a living, it's comforting to know that security is known to be tangible enough that there is no need to be fearful. I find it more tolerable to endure the downside of a job than worry about what will happen to me if I had just left the situation. I found the more I would fight through the tougher aspects of the job, I would develop a tolerance for it. I also believe that while the downside of the job may exist, the perks are stronger. If there wasn't anything appealing about the job, there wouldn't be a reason to apply for it. I think that a job is more tolerable as long as the benefits of the job are focused upon.